What Happened When I Took a Break from the Internet
On Wednesday, June 12, I uploaded this image to Instagram. I set my Twitter name to "Julie Falatko is having an analog summer." And I turned on the out-of-office reply on my email accounts.
It was time to go offline.
Why?
When there were two weeks left before my kids were going to get out of school and be home with me, I mapped out what I'd have to do to complete a rough draft of the rewrite I was (am) working on. I'd have to do 5000 words a day. Which is a lot, but not impossible. If I even got 3000 words a day, I'd be close. Instead, my word count hovered between 1000-2000 words a day, and those were all scattered and distracted words. And on Tuesday, June 11, a day when my only big non-writing task was to drive my car to the mechanic and walk the 10 minute walk back to my house, my word count was zero. ZERO.
The reason was that my brain convinced me that I needed to constantly check, check, check to see what was happening in the world. I justified it by saying it was part of my job, to promote and engage. But another part of my job, the biggest and most important part, is writing the books. And that wasn't happening, at least not with the flow and intensity that it needed to be.
Earlier this year I read How to Break Up with Your Phone and Digital Minimalism, and I recommend both of them if you, too, are finding yourself spending too much time with your phone in your hand and not enough time doing everything else. They are excellent for explaining what our phones are doing to our brains, and how to be intentional about the way we're using them. One passage in particular of Digital Minimalism was a real slap; the author, Cal Newport, is talking about the benefits of long quiet walks. "Take these walks alone, which means not just by yourself, but also, if possible, without your phone. If you're wearing headphones, or monitoring a text message chain, or, God forbid, narrating the stroll on Instagram--you're not really walking, and therefore you're not going to experience this practice's greatest benefits." (emphasis mine) HOW DARE HE! My daily walks in the cemetery, where I talk on Instagram Stories about writing and what I'm working on, are A DELIGHT. And, I mean, I really do enjoy them. But I'm not getting the writing done, and narrating my walk on Instagram might be one of the reasons.
So what happened when I cut myself off? Well, the first thing I did was somehow browse vaguely over to Kickstarter and back a women-made bra. Sure. I mean: OBVIOUSLY that's the first thing you do.
Then I cleaned out a closet. Also obvious.
But then? Then I started working on a new picture book idea, because that was more alluring than cleaning out another closet. And I kept adding words to my big revision/work-in-progress middle grade.
As the days went by, I realized how much time I had been spending thinking about social media. Thinking about what I was going to post, or thinking about what someone else had posted. In the past, I would follow that thought process to checking social media, and the cycle kept going. But now, those thoughts fizzled out because there was no fire to feed them. And it took a few days, but my thoughts stopped being quite so much about the internet, and more about my creative projects.
And then it was the last day of school, and I had to figure out what the summer schedule was going to be like with my four kids. They are signed up for some camps, but for the most part are going to be home.
I read the book 5,000 Word Per Hour by Chris Fox, which talks about doing writing sprints to get a lot of words out -- either 5-minute microsprints, or longer sprints that are anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour. During the sprints you write and keep writing, and don't edit at all. One morning last week, I woke up at my usual (early) time and wrote, and it was AMAZING to get a big chunk of writing out of the way, so I could do things with my kids during the day and not worry about taking away from my writing time. I was going to write to you here about how I was doing writing sprints every morning. Except that I'm not. The morning, while we're drinking coffee, is really the only uninterrupted time I have to talk to my husband Dave, and I'm not willing to give that up. So unless I get up even earlier than my normal early time (4:00?), I'm not going to be able to rely on getting the writing done first thing.
Chris Fox talks about the importance of setting aside a 20-30 minute chunk of time where you know you won't be interrupted and HA HA HA GOOD ONE, BUDDY. I've got children yelling my name every three minutes and asking me how to boil water or if we're out of dishwasher sauce (while I was typing this paragraph, my daughters came to my door, screaming, and shouted, "Why did the goose ride the bus? Because it was HONKIN'!" which...is a terrible joke. Only interrupt me if the joke is good, children!). So I've been focusing on 5-minute microsprints. It's like I always say: Focus on small tasks and you'll get them done. If you only see the giant task before you, you'll get overwhelmed and eat a pint of ice cream. Chris Fox also talks about building up writing stamina, so it will be interesting to see if, in my July newsletter, I can report longer writing sprints and higher word count, as I continue to transition from internet brain to writer-brain-of-yore.
But here's the thing. While there is definite value in continuing to add words to my manuscript, even in small chunks, what I'm really chasing is that flow state. The distraction of social media (which is often led by my own brain yelling, "go check it! go see! pick up your phone!") is replaced in the summer by family interruptions (that is, coming from outside my brain), but they're all interruptions that prevent me from getting deep into my work. I've made a lot of progress on the novel I'm working on, but there's something missing -- a driving narrative something -- and I can't find it unless I lose myself in the work. I realize I've reached this point where I'm frustrated by my lack of progress, and am blaming my distracted state for everything. But it's me. It's all on me. So I'm determined to continue to harvest focus and claim larger chunks of time to get this work done, and get it done well.
Back in February, when I did the #authorlifemonth challenge on Instagram, I realized that I'd let all of my hobbies fall away. What I'm realizing now is that, in fact, I'd replaced those hobbies with staring at the internet, which, let's be honest, isn't a great hobby. I really wanted to actively add more non-writing creativity into my life. So I signed up for Creativebug, and, with my kids, we're doing some lessons. My daughters and I did Lisa Congdon's Sketchbook Exploration class. Maybe I can get to flow by doing some non-writing creative output. We'll see.
Finally, here are three things from this week that are inspiring me:
I got interviewed by Van the Puppet from the Austin Public Library when I was in Texas in April. Here's the video!