Trying new things is huge -- one of the things I'm thinking about a lot this year is doing scary things, and getting uncomfortable. I am so quick to dwell in a place of comfort and safety. Which is fine sometimes, but it's not how I'm going to get stronger.
It's fair to say, I am not a patient person and I react to uncertainty by OVERTHINKING. (I can easily channel Chidi from The Good Place.) I've always pictured purgatory as a place where you just sit and second-guess everything (and then find out, you are actually in hell, not its waiting room).
So, this is so good to hear right now! I've put myself out there on a few things I'm waiting to hear back about. I truly *only* did them because I do believe in failing forward. With even my biggest failures...I now kick myself for HOW I did them, not that I tried them, if that makes sense. And, after reflection, I can almost always clearly trace how my biggest personal flops also gave me--ugh, not sure I love the word 'grit' but, you know--a certain "f* it, I'm doing this...it can't be as bad as the time I..." attitude. (An Eleanor from The Good Place kind of feeling.) And it does...comfort me?
Like the Neil G. quote, "Being brave doesn’t mean you aren’t scared. Being brave means you are scared, really scared, badly scared, and you do the right thing anyway."
I love how people in the comments are thinking of these huge failures and I'm like "oh, maybe try to write this idea up even though I don't know if it'll ever work." I'm having all these quiet private failures. Maybe time to take my failure bigger?
There's a point where failure becomes story, you know? So, there's always that weird "benefit"--esp. for a storyteller? David Sedaris sometimes talks about--how he sometimes lets seemingly bad/not great things play out just to see if it turns into a story...😂 Better to fail big and have a story, than fail little and have only (usually somewhat boring) success stories? 😂
I'm sure this is WAY MORE INFORMATION than you wanted to know (and actually loops back to the "way back when" conversation), but when I was pregnant for the first time, I realized that NPR really relaxed me, so I ordered a bunch of CDs to play while I was in labor. That This American Life Fiasco episode was one of them!
Fail on purpose, or even just fail by mistake! I’ve got a book on sub right now that I’m not sure is going to sell. I thought for sure it would a year ago, but my faith in it waning. If I fail with this book, it won’t be on purpose, but it will make me stronger in the long run.
This video was such a good reminder... failure is part of growth, always. It’s a necessary step, even if it feels brutal at the time. 🖤
Ugh, yes, it feels so brutal. And I am really good at failing by mistake. It's so hard. But I can see how many times failing by mistake has, as you said, made me stronger. And I'm wondering if failing on purpose will allow me to get ahead of it and fail less by mistake?
Yes. Failure is building strong writing muscles. I believe that.
Fail Fast. Fail Often! That was the mantra of one of my business mentors who believed you needed to continue to try new things. Write. Right. Rite.!
Trying new things is huge -- one of the things I'm thinking about a lot this year is doing scary things, and getting uncomfortable. I am so quick to dwell in a place of comfort and safety. Which is fine sometimes, but it's not how I'm going to get stronger.
I keep thinking about this review of this book from this past week, In Praise of Failure (https://www.nytimes.com/2022/12/28/books/review/in-praise-of-failure-costica-bradatan.html?unlocked_article_code=DVjgAaQ3pLPDbRVBgnCufvDzllizNdYRUnPdv5U8WTBbyY_0J_Y1TSpqC_Nw6UMSZ-u1mFCnwWD4L897KNGdSyDY8Q89HoUAt4UnmVckf-plM2Ud86CcZ-xBalO6hkj2GduJeZFMbM7VixefD_ZuJAhlJN8J2kyp1-ctyjNgXD7JftkuaSqdc3oGBNGFQ9F7NxKQVHVWUdqv-XXoS1q8JDo4IEVzag9Bx34ZOHVzTp0Y5hjmRH_gZxTl3yk0jBXjxq-r8YGc9QnyxlYrUU7zJHXMwU3TgsHZ74M_JdE8GfuWIFEU8UxPmwHkNI8lrzfY6rlzuRz2L-y00IEqeOjw40aKKvvbuyPMsixF5ScTF8AN9OgH&smid=share-url) (um, sorry for such a ridiculously long URL!) where it says that Samuel Beckett's oft-quoted quote about failure ("Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Fail again. Fail better.") actually has more to it: "Fail worse again. Still worse again. Till sick for good. Throw up for good." And part of me thinks, well, that sounds pretty terrible. But maybe also I need to dip my toe in that space and see what happens.
It's fair to say, I am not a patient person and I react to uncertainty by OVERTHINKING. (I can easily channel Chidi from The Good Place.) I've always pictured purgatory as a place where you just sit and second-guess everything (and then find out, you are actually in hell, not its waiting room).
So, this is so good to hear right now! I've put myself out there on a few things I'm waiting to hear back about. I truly *only* did them because I do believe in failing forward. With even my biggest failures...I now kick myself for HOW I did them, not that I tried them, if that makes sense. And, after reflection, I can almost always clearly trace how my biggest personal flops also gave me--ugh, not sure I love the word 'grit' but, you know--a certain "f* it, I'm doing this...it can't be as bad as the time I..." attitude. (An Eleanor from The Good Place kind of feeling.) And it does...comfort me?
Like the Neil G. quote, "Being brave doesn’t mean you aren’t scared. Being brave means you are scared, really scared, badly scared, and you do the right thing anyway."
I love how people in the comments are thinking of these huge failures and I'm like "oh, maybe try to write this idea up even though I don't know if it'll ever work." I'm having all these quiet private failures. Maybe time to take my failure bigger?
Anything marked as failure is big to the person who marked it that way! :)
Very random, but did you ever listen to the espisode of This American Life called "Fiasco!" https://www.thisamericanlife.org/699/fiasco I loved it!
There's a point where failure becomes story, you know? So, there's always that weird "benefit"--esp. for a storyteller? David Sedaris sometimes talks about--how he sometimes lets seemingly bad/not great things play out just to see if it turns into a story...😂 Better to fail big and have a story, than fail little and have only (usually somewhat boring) success stories? 😂
I'm sure this is WAY MORE INFORMATION than you wanted to know (and actually loops back to the "way back when" conversation), but when I was pregnant for the first time, I realized that NPR really relaxed me, so I ordered a bunch of CDs to play while I was in labor. That This American Life Fiasco episode was one of them!
Also, there's no such thing as too much Julie info. Also, I thought of a pun to describe people who enjoyed the same audio story: "peas in a pod."
HA HA HA HA HA
you know I love a good pun
OMG! LOL! Of course it was! Dying!
I love the analogy. This one is a touchstone to come back to again and again! :-)
So glad it resonated, Darshana!
Fail on purpose, or even just fail by mistake! I’ve got a book on sub right now that I’m not sure is going to sell. I thought for sure it would a year ago, but my faith in it waning. If I fail with this book, it won’t be on purpose, but it will make me stronger in the long run.
This video was such a good reminder... failure is part of growth, always. It’s a necessary step, even if it feels brutal at the time. 🖤
Ugh, yes, it feels so brutal. And I am really good at failing by mistake. It's so hard. But I can see how many times failing by mistake has, as you said, made me stronger. And I'm wondering if failing on purpose will allow me to get ahead of it and fail less by mistake?