Everything you say here is exactly why I enjoy your newsletter and look forward to it and won’t be unsubscribing. I actually PREFER it when the newsletters from those I admire come irregularly. I can’t keep track of anything myself and when I get what feels like an out of the blue reminder of what someone is up to- I’m delighted. And I guess part of that delight is that they are acting exactly how humans should- erratically 🙂
YES! We are not robots who can perform every Tuesday! Or, well -- that's the tricky part. We could perform every Tuesday. But it might be denying some of our human-ness. And probably there are people who love that kind of accountability and schedule. But like with everything, it's all the "shoulds" that might weigh us down -- they don't count as "shoulds" if they light us up, then they're just things we do with joy.
I also enjoy an irregular post. It's lovely to let Substack keep track of my favorite people and when I have time, I can catch up. And if I don't - I don't. I have barely been reading substack the past month, actually.
I think I relate to this more on a side of managing a home/family. I probably put time aside quarterly to unsubscribe to company emails, only to have Christmas pop up and flood my inbox again. <<<SIGH>>>
I decided to post monthly on substack, but I give myself the grace of posting whenever during that month. I also shared less last month because it's summer and I was just too busy. I'm too tired to worry about the people-pleasing anymore.
I'm definitely thinking a lot about people pleasing and Christmas, too. I want to stop doing it all. It's ridiculous. It's just like with Substack, for me -- I've gone overboard and I don't think my kids even want me to do it all, especially since I'm always stressed and bitter.
Julie, I always appreciate your honesty and transparency around these big, big issues of time and social media and habits. One question that keeps coming up, for *me*, is how so many of these books on time and habits are written by men (Cal Newport, Gambuto, the Atomic Habits guy whose name I am too lazy to look up, etc.). And people-pleasing seems to be a trait that women in particular struggle with, because it's part of our socialization and expected from us at such a very young age, and because so much of modern parenting/caregiving is tied up in being busy and people pleasing and staying engaged . . . all of this is to say that your newsletter posts are so appreciated--- no matter if they are regular or irregular, because I value the perspective of a woman and a mother who is writing and trying to balance it all.
Yes, I hear you. I think there are so many things that we're all told, ways we're told we have to be, and it's so interesting to get curious about that and see if it needs dismantling (like, from talking to my husband, he's got a lot of internalized norms from patriarchy/society that aren't helpful to him, either, but that's a topic for someone else's newsletter probably). I know Cal Newport has addressed it a bit on his podcast, because I think he does do some (SOME) of the kid wrangling (but also has a lot of privilege, and also at least in the early times all of his guests and many of his referenced people were men). Gambuto is very up front in the book about his ability to do his unsubscribing as a person (man) living alone at the time he did it. (All I know about James Clear is from the Atomic Habits episode of If Books Could Kill, which is to say, not much.)
One thing I do think about a lot is Overcoming Underearning by Barbara Stanny (seriously, in all levels, I think about this book A LOT), especially the gentle things she says about: if you're underearning, ultimately, it's on you. It's no one else's fault. And yes, sure, there are systemic systems in place that can make things hard, absolutely. But it really helped me shift from a place of being like THESE DUDES to being like "ok, whatever, I can still do all these things" and then doing what I can to write / work / earn money. Not to throw this back on you! It's just that I am very familiar with that "sure, it's easy for the dudes" pov (how often, when I was awash with babies, did I think that? every second), but I've kind of let it go.
Heeeee...and of course, you just inspired me to smash the heart-button and subscribe after a quick perusal of your Stack. I'm actually a semi-easy subscribe. I like to try out stuff that seems in tune with me. I'm a rapid unsubscriber too and absolutely! I clear-cut a couple times a year. Just...blow-torch through the forest, man. I'm pretty mercenary about it and afterwards...ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. So nice. I use the Marie Kondo question: does it spark joy? Because I feel the same - if my posts aren't sparking joy, please please unsubscribe.
I'm pretty new to Substack, but recently it has come to my attention that I, too, am Hashtag DoingItAllWrong. Woooot! (Pretty much what I do with everything everywhere.) This prompted a subscription blow-torch moment the other week, now that I'm really starting to get a handle on how I want to use this site as a reader - which is completely informing me about how I want to use it as a writer/creator. NOT the way I'm "supposed" to. Shrug. 🤪
I'm so happy to be discovering other people who are coming to similar conclusions in their own ways. Because I'm accustomed to being that lone rebel out in the toolie bushes, doing my thing in my own sandbox mostly alone. But it's so much more fun when you can find pals, or at least people whose sandboxes are similar. Clearcutting social media except YouTube...but getting a new YouTube that I use really differently, all over the place for topic, super scattered for posting schedule... this was one of the best decisions I ever made in my life. It's healthy for me. 4 brain traumas on top of neurodivergence demands it, if I want to be able to keep creating the things.
I hope your own decluttering and clear-cutting is as liberating for you as it has been for me! And yes. The people pleasing is strong with this one. It's a continuous battle that sneaks in their like insidious weeds disguised as flowers. Thank you for the reminder of ways it masquerades!
🤣🤓😈 wahoooo! With all the features they keep adding, it really has the ability to be more of a website than an email newsletter, so that’s how I use it. Like a big playground to come explore. And sometimes I do forgo sending the email notification, even though they warn us not to. Like when I do the big migration of my old blog, I’ll totally just be giving arc updates. Not email bombing. As a reader, I often avoid the email version altogether. I also have multiple publications--another thing they say not to do. But it has given me soooooo much relief and freedom! Cheers to cyber-rebels and playing with these toys our way!
My first reaction reading this was, "oh no! Did Julie unsubscribe from *my* newsletter?!?"
Which it would be fine if you did. Like I said on another thread I am feeling the social pull of Substack too and props to you for even getting it together to write well thought out essays; I was just journaling wondering if I even have it in me to write something more in+depth than the two to three minute pieces I've been sending out. TBH that practice has been feeling good; whether I build to someone bigger remains to be seen. I imagine a screenplay or novel but was reading Anna Fusco yesterday on "if you keep thinking you're going to do it but never do it, maybe that is telling" (not her direct words).
Anyway, I appreciate the connection WE have on here, and I don't think it would exist on mailchimp. Also fwiw I don't think looking for subscribers is being a corporation - it's such a mass thing. I feel compelled to elaborate but that's not the mood I'm in. Anyway! 💕💕💕
I really appreciate this post, Julie, and that’s one reason I continue to subscribe to Do the Work because you are always so honest and human in what you write. It seems like you’re always just a step or two ahead of me down the path, and I’m grateful for your flashlight beam pointing out the rocks and mud patches.
I’m currently on a retreat, and shouldn’t even be looking at Substack, but I’m glad you shared this essay and I’m glad I read it, and now I’m hiding my phone and going to take my notebook out to the porch and stare at trees until one of them starts talking...
After reading this I unsubscribed to about 20 emails(some of them the option was well hidden). I was holding on to the idea that one day I’d need the information the corporations were sending me when in reality it was taking up space.
It is so well hidden sometimes, that option to unsubscribe! And I was interested in which companies were straightforward about it ("You have been unsubscribed") and which ones made a bigger deal out of it ("Oh no, we'll miss you!"). And also interested in how much emotion I had about it -- like you said, wondering if I'd need the information. Even though I don't think I really ever have. It's not like unsubscribing from their emails prevents me from buying from their website in the future!
Love this quote from your post 'I am unsubscribing from the idea that my worth is based on whether or not other people like me and what I’m doing.' This was definitely a good reminder to be gentle with myself as I've been preparing to start my newsletter. It's always so tempting to dive in, and swim as fast as you can. So I'm trying to remember to take it slow, and prepare for a long journey. As what I'm hoping for is better community, and to explain to others how I make books.
Good luck! I find for me it's mostly useful to pay attention to the speed I'm working. To remember that, overall, it might feel slow. But that also sometimes I'll have a super fast day. It's all riding waves -- and what I personally need to keep remembering is not to hop on over to someone else's wave (or however I can mangle this metaphor to be about people pleasing!).
I never intended for my Substack to be paid… and at some point Substack, unbeknownst to me, decided it would ask all new subscribers to “pledge” to pay in case I ever monetized in the future!! (Which I assume they would track and when I hit a certain dollar amount in pledges, Substack would start encouraging me to switch to paid.) I had to find that and turn it off. It’s hard to just be a human talking to other humans.
This was great, Julie. Sounds like a huge revelation for you! I have often thought that I wish I was a writer before the internet. That way, all I would have to focus on is my writing, not the social media, not the website, not the endless newsletters and information on how to write, what to write, etc. etc. etc. It is so much information, and much of it very interesting, and very good, but at times it becomes overwhelming and takes me away from actually doing the work! So maybe, I can strip it down a bit for myself. Pretend I’m in the world before the internet-- at least to some degree, I don’t think I can completely go off grid, but perhaps take a step back from it for awhile, and as you mention, add little bits of it back in and see what happens! So thanks for this reminder.
Yeah, I wish I could say, "Oh, just act like a pre-internet writer!" but I know it's not that easy. I'm realizing, though, if I step truly away from people pleasing, and do what I need to do, then I'll allow myself that time. It will be allowed and even normal for me to be offline and unreachable for days or even weeks, as I write or live. It seems both unthinkable to do it and not to do it.
Boy, do I relate, Julie! I'm sorta glad I stayed with Mail Chimp after reading this... 🙂 Btw, I'm a Certified Life Coach, as well as Creativity Coach (and author). http://JanetBoyerCoaching.com Would be glad to hop on the phone to chat with you to see if I could help! 🙏
I relate to this post so much! For me, part of the feeling of needing to post regularly has been me just wanting to do a good job with my kidlit career. To know I’ve done the best I can with what is in my power because so much of this path is out of my control. And like you said, I’ve been trained to think that “doing a good job” means acting like a corporation. But as I’ve really pondered how I feel about things -- like I don’t care if people post every week on the same day...in fact I often don’t notice -- I’ve been letting go of certain ideas. I’ve been trying to let the idea of connection -- using these tools to connect with myself and others -- guide my decisions more. And sometimes that means I need a break to connect. Other times it is wanting to write something funny because I like making people laugh. And other times I want to share something I’ve learned. I get stressed sometimes about the whole “you should have a clear offering” and other business advice. But I think I’m slowly letting go of that and just letting myself be human (as you said). I’m trying to focus on being true to me and focusing on what I WANT to do. And letting go of all these things I SHOULD do.
Yeah, those shoulds. They get me every time. More than anything, I keep thinking about how, when I ask myself what I want to be doing, "writing books" is what comes through. And, again, I like having this newsletter! But not at the expense of writing books. And I realize how much I have just clicked over into this people pleasing, creating "content" mode, and no one asked me to do this. (I often don't notice if people post on the same day either!)
I remember when I was really active on Twitter, and people would say, "You're so good at this!" and it always made me feel weird. Like, I'm not sure I want to be good at Twitter? And I'm ok being good at newsletters, whatever that means, but I can feel my uneasiness with it, because I want to be good at books, too.
Yes! 100%! It seems like for me social media and newsletters feel like a problem when they are replacing writing/illustrating time (or other priority time). My “only create newsletter stuff on Mondays” thing is working well for me. But social media is a lot harder to figure out. I’m actually really excited about posting funny videos on social media tied to my debut book because I like doing that. So I’m trying to figure out if I can have fun and make stuff that fulfills me adjacent to my books without the awfulness of the distractions and checking my phone all the time…I still haven’t figured it out. I think I’m going to delete my email and social media apps from my phone and put them on my iPad since I don’t carry that around in my pocket everywhere and see how that goes. In the end, maybe i’ll conclude that I’m kind of an all or nothing person with social media and maybe the bad outweighs the good and I should just cold turkey leave it. We shall see 😂
Taking social media off my phone was huge for me. Mostly I do think that using it wisely comes from knowing WHY you're on there, but taking it off my phone reduced the temptation to scroll. I do have email on my phone still, but don't get notifications for it, and that helped.
That's a great point about the WHY -- and I don't have notifications either but I think I still have a problem haha. I think I'll take it off for a few months to break my email refreshing habit
I scheduled my substack as a weekly newsletter from the beginning, because I knew a weekly essay would overwhelm me completely and would take away too much time from writing fiction. Also I felt uneasy about showing up on a weekly basis in the inboxes of people. I thought that might scare them away. 😆
Wow. This was such a timely read for me. I’m so glad I stumbled across a mention in Notes.
I JUST started dabbling in Substack, and was wondering about switching my list from MailChimp, but even more apropos for me today is that this morning I noticed myself slipping into the familiar pattern of trying to work out how to strategically GROW here.
When I realized that was happening, I scolded myself. I have backed away from Instagram because it no longer functions like it used to, and it demands triple the work it used to, but here I was, almost ready to jump on board with trying to turbo build on Substack! Why, I was wondering, do I always veer towards trying to achieve MORE? Why can’t I just BE?
Reading your thoughts here is helping me pick apart my own behaviors, start to make sense of them, and hopefully prevent myself from heading down the same old burnout path!
I mean, there is definitely a lot on here about growing and turbo building! AND a lot on the internet in general about achieving more. And not just being. But I really want to get to a place of being comfortable just being! It feels really important right now. In a lot of ways I don't even know how to begin.
Everything you say here is exactly why I enjoy your newsletter and look forward to it and won’t be unsubscribing. I actually PREFER it when the newsletters from those I admire come irregularly. I can’t keep track of anything myself and when I get what feels like an out of the blue reminder of what someone is up to- I’m delighted. And I guess part of that delight is that they are acting exactly how humans should- erratically 🙂
YES! We are not robots who can perform every Tuesday! Or, well -- that's the tricky part. We could perform every Tuesday. But it might be denying some of our human-ness. And probably there are people who love that kind of accountability and schedule. But like with everything, it's all the "shoulds" that might weigh us down -- they don't count as "shoulds" if they light us up, then they're just things we do with joy.
I also enjoy an irregular post. It's lovely to let Substack keep track of my favorite people and when I have time, I can catch up. And if I don't - I don't. I have barely been reading substack the past month, actually.
Woooo! I see you in PW! Congratulations!
I think I relate to this more on a side of managing a home/family. I probably put time aside quarterly to unsubscribe to company emails, only to have Christmas pop up and flood my inbox again. <<<SIGH>>>
I decided to post monthly on substack, but I give myself the grace of posting whenever during that month. I also shared less last month because it's summer and I was just too busy. I'm too tired to worry about the people-pleasing anymore.
I'm definitely thinking a lot about people pleasing and Christmas, too. I want to stop doing it all. It's ridiculous. It's just like with Substack, for me -- I've gone overboard and I don't think my kids even want me to do it all, especially since I'm always stressed and bitter.
Julie, I always appreciate your honesty and transparency around these big, big issues of time and social media and habits. One question that keeps coming up, for *me*, is how so many of these books on time and habits are written by men (Cal Newport, Gambuto, the Atomic Habits guy whose name I am too lazy to look up, etc.). And people-pleasing seems to be a trait that women in particular struggle with, because it's part of our socialization and expected from us at such a very young age, and because so much of modern parenting/caregiving is tied up in being busy and people pleasing and staying engaged . . . all of this is to say that your newsletter posts are so appreciated--- no matter if they are regular or irregular, because I value the perspective of a woman and a mother who is writing and trying to balance it all.
Yes, I hear you. I think there are so many things that we're all told, ways we're told we have to be, and it's so interesting to get curious about that and see if it needs dismantling (like, from talking to my husband, he's got a lot of internalized norms from patriarchy/society that aren't helpful to him, either, but that's a topic for someone else's newsletter probably). I know Cal Newport has addressed it a bit on his podcast, because I think he does do some (SOME) of the kid wrangling (but also has a lot of privilege, and also at least in the early times all of his guests and many of his referenced people were men). Gambuto is very up front in the book about his ability to do his unsubscribing as a person (man) living alone at the time he did it. (All I know about James Clear is from the Atomic Habits episode of If Books Could Kill, which is to say, not much.)
One thing I do think about a lot is Overcoming Underearning by Barbara Stanny (seriously, in all levels, I think about this book A LOT), especially the gentle things she says about: if you're underearning, ultimately, it's on you. It's no one else's fault. And yes, sure, there are systemic systems in place that can make things hard, absolutely. But it really helped me shift from a place of being like THESE DUDES to being like "ok, whatever, I can still do all these things" and then doing what I can to write / work / earn money. Not to throw this back on you! It's just that I am very familiar with that "sure, it's easy for the dudes" pov (how often, when I was awash with babies, did I think that? every second), but I've kind of let it go.
Heeeee...and of course, you just inspired me to smash the heart-button and subscribe after a quick perusal of your Stack. I'm actually a semi-easy subscribe. I like to try out stuff that seems in tune with me. I'm a rapid unsubscriber too and absolutely! I clear-cut a couple times a year. Just...blow-torch through the forest, man. I'm pretty mercenary about it and afterwards...ahhhhhhhhhhhhh. So nice. I use the Marie Kondo question: does it spark joy? Because I feel the same - if my posts aren't sparking joy, please please unsubscribe.
I'm pretty new to Substack, but recently it has come to my attention that I, too, am Hashtag DoingItAllWrong. Woooot! (Pretty much what I do with everything everywhere.) This prompted a subscription blow-torch moment the other week, now that I'm really starting to get a handle on how I want to use this site as a reader - which is completely informing me about how I want to use it as a writer/creator. NOT the way I'm "supposed" to. Shrug. 🤪
I'm so happy to be discovering other people who are coming to similar conclusions in their own ways. Because I'm accustomed to being that lone rebel out in the toolie bushes, doing my thing in my own sandbox mostly alone. But it's so much more fun when you can find pals, or at least people whose sandboxes are similar. Clearcutting social media except YouTube...but getting a new YouTube that I use really differently, all over the place for topic, super scattered for posting schedule... this was one of the best decisions I ever made in my life. It's healthy for me. 4 brain traumas on top of neurodivergence demands it, if I want to be able to keep creating the things.
I hope your own decluttering and clear-cutting is as liberating for you as it has been for me! And yes. The people pleasing is strong with this one. It's a continuous battle that sneaks in their like insidious weeds disguised as flowers. Thank you for the reminder of ways it masquerades!
AND....this comment got me to subscribe to your newsletter. Let's do it wrong together!
🤣🤓😈 wahoooo! With all the features they keep adding, it really has the ability to be more of a website than an email newsletter, so that’s how I use it. Like a big playground to come explore. And sometimes I do forgo sending the email notification, even though they warn us not to. Like when I do the big migration of my old blog, I’ll totally just be giving arc updates. Not email bombing. As a reader, I often avoid the email version altogether. I also have multiple publications--another thing they say not to do. But it has given me soooooo much relief and freedom! Cheers to cyber-rebels and playing with these toys our way!
My first reaction reading this was, "oh no! Did Julie unsubscribe from *my* newsletter?!?"
Which it would be fine if you did. Like I said on another thread I am feeling the social pull of Substack too and props to you for even getting it together to write well thought out essays; I was just journaling wondering if I even have it in me to write something more in+depth than the two to three minute pieces I've been sending out. TBH that practice has been feeling good; whether I build to someone bigger remains to be seen. I imagine a screenplay or novel but was reading Anna Fusco yesterday on "if you keep thinking you're going to do it but never do it, maybe that is telling" (not her direct words).
Anyway, I appreciate the connection WE have on here, and I don't think it would exist on mailchimp. Also fwiw I don't think looking for subscribers is being a corporation - it's such a mass thing. I feel compelled to elaborate but that's not the mood I'm in. Anyway! 💕💕💕
I did not unsubscribe from your newsletter!! And I really like the short-ish essays you post.
Love everything about this, Julie. (Though I especially appreciate the Puddy reference.)
I'm always trying to shoehorn in a Puddy.
I really appreciate this post, Julie, and that’s one reason I continue to subscribe to Do the Work because you are always so honest and human in what you write. It seems like you’re always just a step or two ahead of me down the path, and I’m grateful for your flashlight beam pointing out the rocks and mud patches.
I’m currently on a retreat, and shouldn’t even be looking at Substack, but I’m glad you shared this essay and I’m glad I read it, and now I’m hiding my phone and going to take my notebook out to the porch and stare at trees until one of them starts talking...
Cathy, this means so much to me. And I fully support you staring at trees until they start talking! Go do that! (I will also do that!)
"My people pleasing is really a sneaky way for me to outsource my own worth."
^^^^^ THIS! AMEN! PREACH!
❤️❤️❤️
After reading this I unsubscribed to about 20 emails(some of them the option was well hidden). I was holding on to the idea that one day I’d need the information the corporations were sending me when in reality it was taking up space.
It is so well hidden sometimes, that option to unsubscribe! And I was interested in which companies were straightforward about it ("You have been unsubscribed") and which ones made a bigger deal out of it ("Oh no, we'll miss you!"). And also interested in how much emotion I had about it -- like you said, wondering if I'd need the information. Even though I don't think I really ever have. It's not like unsubscribing from their emails prevents me from buying from their website in the future!
Love this quote from your post 'I am unsubscribing from the idea that my worth is based on whether or not other people like me and what I’m doing.' This was definitely a good reminder to be gentle with myself as I've been preparing to start my newsletter. It's always so tempting to dive in, and swim as fast as you can. So I'm trying to remember to take it slow, and prepare for a long journey. As what I'm hoping for is better community, and to explain to others how I make books.
Good luck! I find for me it's mostly useful to pay attention to the speed I'm working. To remember that, overall, it might feel slow. But that also sometimes I'll have a super fast day. It's all riding waves -- and what I personally need to keep remembering is not to hop on over to someone else's wave (or however I can mangle this metaphor to be about people pleasing!).
I never intended for my Substack to be paid… and at some point Substack, unbeknownst to me, decided it would ask all new subscribers to “pledge” to pay in case I ever monetized in the future!! (Which I assume they would track and when I hit a certain dollar amount in pledges, Substack would start encouraging me to switch to paid.) I had to find that and turn it off. It’s hard to just be a human talking to other humans.
Yeah, I see the value of the pledges, but having it happen without you choosing it (and having to turn it off) is kind of annoying.
This was great, Julie. Sounds like a huge revelation for you! I have often thought that I wish I was a writer before the internet. That way, all I would have to focus on is my writing, not the social media, not the website, not the endless newsletters and information on how to write, what to write, etc. etc. etc. It is so much information, and much of it very interesting, and very good, but at times it becomes overwhelming and takes me away from actually doing the work! So maybe, I can strip it down a bit for myself. Pretend I’m in the world before the internet-- at least to some degree, I don’t think I can completely go off grid, but perhaps take a step back from it for awhile, and as you mention, add little bits of it back in and see what happens! So thanks for this reminder.
Yeah, I wish I could say, "Oh, just act like a pre-internet writer!" but I know it's not that easy. I'm realizing, though, if I step truly away from people pleasing, and do what I need to do, then I'll allow myself that time. It will be allowed and even normal for me to be offline and unreachable for days or even weeks, as I write or live. It seems both unthinkable to do it and not to do it.
Boy, do I relate, Julie! I'm sorta glad I stayed with Mail Chimp after reading this... 🙂 Btw, I'm a Certified Life Coach, as well as Creativity Coach (and author). http://JanetBoyerCoaching.com Would be glad to hop on the phone to chat with you to see if I could help! 🙏
I relate to this post so much! For me, part of the feeling of needing to post regularly has been me just wanting to do a good job with my kidlit career. To know I’ve done the best I can with what is in my power because so much of this path is out of my control. And like you said, I’ve been trained to think that “doing a good job” means acting like a corporation. But as I’ve really pondered how I feel about things -- like I don’t care if people post every week on the same day...in fact I often don’t notice -- I’ve been letting go of certain ideas. I’ve been trying to let the idea of connection -- using these tools to connect with myself and others -- guide my decisions more. And sometimes that means I need a break to connect. Other times it is wanting to write something funny because I like making people laugh. And other times I want to share something I’ve learned. I get stressed sometimes about the whole “you should have a clear offering” and other business advice. But I think I’m slowly letting go of that and just letting myself be human (as you said). I’m trying to focus on being true to me and focusing on what I WANT to do. And letting go of all these things I SHOULD do.
Thanks for your thought provoking posts!
I just saw the PW announcement! Congratulations!!!
THANK YOU! I'm so so so excited!!!
Yeah, those shoulds. They get me every time. More than anything, I keep thinking about how, when I ask myself what I want to be doing, "writing books" is what comes through. And, again, I like having this newsletter! But not at the expense of writing books. And I realize how much I have just clicked over into this people pleasing, creating "content" mode, and no one asked me to do this. (I often don't notice if people post on the same day either!)
I remember when I was really active on Twitter, and people would say, "You're so good at this!" and it always made me feel weird. Like, I'm not sure I want to be good at Twitter? And I'm ok being good at newsletters, whatever that means, but I can feel my uneasiness with it, because I want to be good at books, too.
Yes! 100%! It seems like for me social media and newsletters feel like a problem when they are replacing writing/illustrating time (or other priority time). My “only create newsletter stuff on Mondays” thing is working well for me. But social media is a lot harder to figure out. I’m actually really excited about posting funny videos on social media tied to my debut book because I like doing that. So I’m trying to figure out if I can have fun and make stuff that fulfills me adjacent to my books without the awfulness of the distractions and checking my phone all the time…I still haven’t figured it out. I think I’m going to delete my email and social media apps from my phone and put them on my iPad since I don’t carry that around in my pocket everywhere and see how that goes. In the end, maybe i’ll conclude that I’m kind of an all or nothing person with social media and maybe the bad outweighs the good and I should just cold turkey leave it. We shall see 😂
Taking social media off my phone was huge for me. Mostly I do think that using it wisely comes from knowing WHY you're on there, but taking it off my phone reduced the temptation to scroll. I do have email on my phone still, but don't get notifications for it, and that helped.
That's a great point about the WHY -- and I don't have notifications either but I think I still have a problem haha. I think I'll take it off for a few months to break my email refreshing habit
I scheduled my substack as a weekly newsletter from the beginning, because I knew a weekly essay would overwhelm me completely and would take away too much time from writing fiction. Also I felt uneasy about showing up on a weekly basis in the inboxes of people. I thought that might scare them away. 😆
Wow. This was such a timely read for me. I’m so glad I stumbled across a mention in Notes.
I JUST started dabbling in Substack, and was wondering about switching my list from MailChimp, but even more apropos for me today is that this morning I noticed myself slipping into the familiar pattern of trying to work out how to strategically GROW here.
When I realized that was happening, I scolded myself. I have backed away from Instagram because it no longer functions like it used to, and it demands triple the work it used to, but here I was, almost ready to jump on board with trying to turbo build on Substack! Why, I was wondering, do I always veer towards trying to achieve MORE? Why can’t I just BE?
Reading your thoughts here is helping me pick apart my own behaviors, start to make sense of them, and hopefully prevent myself from heading down the same old burnout path!
Thank you!
I mean, there is definitely a lot on here about growing and turbo building! AND a lot on the internet in general about achieving more. And not just being. But I really want to get to a place of being comfortable just being! It feels really important right now. In a lot of ways I don't even know how to begin.