Feb 17, 2023·edited Feb 17, 2023Liked by Julie Falatko
(Sigh) I discovered this a little too late.
A little over a year ago, someone I considered a friend sent me a message about me that was clearly intended for someone else, and suddenly I learned that at least two people in a group of friends I'd emotionally invested in, spent a lot of time with, and in some cases—including the case of the sender—helped professionally consult, were talking about me behind my back. Overnight, an industry that is consistently celebrated for being made up of "nice people" felt like high school, and I've been a little paranoid about investing in fellow bookmakers ever since. I realize that I'm generalizing and that not everyone who does what we do behaves this way, but a short time before the message I had a traumatic experience that affected my ability to trust people and give them the benefit of the doubt, so that exacerbated things.
I just want to say that I think this is quite lame, and I'm sorry you, a person who has been lovely and funny and great in the, albeit short, time that I've known you, had to deal with it.
Tom, that's a TERRIBLE story! I'm so sorry that happened to you! It does reinforce this instinct I've had lately, though, to really dig in to offline time, to seeing-each-other-in-person time. I'm so troubled by who the internet tells us to be, and how it can in some ways condone being nicey-nice to your face and then gossiping and trash talking behind your back. I will sigh along with you.
I know what you mean. There are plenty of moments I can think of when I wanted to delete my accounts to get rid of, or at least alleviate, both the pressure of keeping up and being exposed to the judgement of others, but then I fear I'll miss out on opportunities, work, etc. so I hesitate and eventually abandon the idea. It's exhausting just thinking about it. Looking forward to spending more time offline this year. Let me know if you're ever up for more seeing-each-other-in-person time, AKA a cup of coffee. :)
I feel like I'm still caffeinated from that coffee we got last summer. I don't know what I ordered but I swear it's still the strongest coffee I've ever had. But yes! Let's have coffee again soon!
More and more I'm not sure being on social media is worth anything. I predict we'll start to see a shift from that being the primary way opportunities arise. It's just all TOO MUCH right now, and not really a great way to get work or publicize ourselves.
Loved this so much! And could relate a lot. It's part of what brought me to Substack too (though it may be its own form of social media...). I was seeking the more in depth conversations and exchanges that was part of the early day of social media... But I agree that nothing beats in-person connections!
Yeah, it's interesting -- I'm finding that part of me that turned to social media for validation does keep clicking around Substack looking for the same thing. I'm glad to know this now, at the beginning of my Substack relationship, so I can be aware and catch myself if I'm refreshing to see if any new things have shown up.
I appreciate your honesty, Julie, and I'm really sorry about the FB bashing. I like social media in very small doses and keep my circles tight. If I don't have some connection to the person as a friend and/or writer, they don't make the cut. I rarely visit Twitter or Facebook. Social media is not good overall for anyone's mental health. I work with middle school kids, and I definitely see the negative effects.
I prefer trees and animals, actual beloved people, sunrise and sunset, and all the glorious real life in between. And I'm always happy when you show up in my inbox. Thank you for your words however they find me.
I love your second paragraph (and not only because of the nice things you say about me!). Because, yeah, I for sure prefer trees to strangers on social media.
Hello Maine neighbor! Your post is timely to me as I just deactivated my Twitter account after 15 years of being an active Twitter user. I'm not very active on Facebook or Instagram either and I don't do TikTok, Snapchat, Whatsapp or the rest. I completely get what you are saying about how social media can make you feel and how it might not be as rewarding as it once was. I watched your video and I get why you chose to not engage with the private Facebook group either.
I can't help but think that people are reevaluating their relationship with social media, especially in light of our collective COVID-19 experiences, political and social issues, etc.
HI NEIGHBOR! What were your reasons for deactivating your Twitter? How does it FEEL? I remember when I deactivated Facebook and it felt like a relief. I keep thinking about deleting my Twitter, but not quite getting to the point of doing it. Maybe soon. I also have been active on there for a long time, but have really pulled back on it the last year or two.
I also think there are a lot of people reevaluating their relationships with it. It HAS changed, for sure, so now it's a point where people can change with it, or go somewhere else.
Gosh, I have a lot of thoughts about deactivating Twitter after being there for 15 years, I think I'll need to write a separate post about that. It's like 80% grief, 20% relief but that could change. I think that the whole COVID-19 situation was yet another turning point for social media.
One of the best things about my last trip abroad was that I didn't take my computer and I don't have either LinkedIn or Twitter on my phone. It was such a relief not to see brag posts, hustle porn posts, the whining, the brown-nosing, the oversharing of meaningless achievements. I still feel I kind of need LinkedIn for work, cause that's where my clients check me out, and I have found new clients there. However, I don't think the benefits outweigh the costs. Twitter at least makes me chuckle time to time.
Another thing I hate about social media is how conscious we are about algorithms. "Don't put a link into your post, the algo won't like it". "If your last post tanked, your next one won't get much traction either". "If you use more than 5 emojis, you'll get penalised". And that information (basically social media bro science) changes every day.
YES! I just...don't want my life ruled by social media bro science, at all, ever. And yes to the relief of not having all the oversharing and bragging and everything else in front of us in our day. I deleted my LinkedIn (doesn't do much in my field) and deactivated my Facebook, and still have Twitter and Instagram, but not on my phone, and I don't check them often. I used to love them! They made me laugh too! But now when I do find something that makes me laugh, I have to weed that thing out from all the angry ick.
I'm still thinking about all of this a lot, especially whether any possible value is worth staying on there. Increasingly, for me at least, I'm not so sure.
Julie, I just deactivated my Twitter account last night and this video from you is so affirming. I'm still elsewhere, but I am thinking hard about it. So tricky. I met my first literary agent on Twitter - it all seems so tangled up. But yes. Thank you for your clarity and your insight. Seeing you walk through a cemetery with your well dressed pup feels like fresh air <3
I met my first AND my second agents on Twitter! I think the fact that we're thinking about all this stuff is the important part (at least I hope so). It's when we're not thinking about it and suddenly look up and realize the morning we had set aside to write is gone to scrolling and we feel agitated that it's a problem.
It really feels like now is the time for it, no? Over the long run, I have gotten so much from social media, but it's gotten boring and mean and ugly and full of advertisers since the "heydays". I credit social media with getting to know your work, and so many other of my favorite writers and illustrators and other creative people. But it really feels like it's not about that anymore.
Austin Kleon posted a clip this week (https://austinkleon.com/2022/11/03/theyre-coming-for-every-second-of-your-life/) of Bo Burnham talking about how all the social media companies are after your every last second. Since they are beholden to shareholders, they are required to grow, and growing in social media just mean grabbing an every last moment of your attention, so they can sell advertising. It explains so much of how it feels to be on social media today. It's not FOR me any more, it's AFTER me.
I have gotten very quiet on my social media, but mostly by attrition, and not by decision. It might be a more satisfying approach to follow your lead and actively step away.
I just saw that Bo Burnham clip that Austin Kleon posted, earlier today, and it resonated so much for me. And it really was lovely to connect with other creative people (like you!). But it's not working anymore, and it's feeling like everything Bo Burnham talked about (way back in 2019) is coming true. It feels so fake and commodified.
First: I have to say, that FB thing sounds like my absolute worst nightmare. It's not the same, but I once was in an episode of PBS's Ask This Old House as a homeowner. I had family who wanted to see the clip, so I went to their FB page to get the link to send and the first comment I saw on the video was something like, "I don't know what it is, but there's something about that homeowner that really annoys me." (I can't remember the exact wording, and I don't want to go back and check.) Whatever it was, it wasn't even that bad (I mean, I annoy even my kids sometimes! So, it's not THAT big a deal), but I must have hovered on that line, mentally and physically, most of that day. I think I eventually just typed: 😐 and left it at that because I literally could not string together any words but I also needed to at least try to make that person see that, hey...I, a human person, read what you felt compelled to go to your computer and record for posterity about me after watching a few minutes of an Ask This Old House episode. You know? I mean, this was NOT America's Next Top Model, or some show you would expect the mean commentators to come out with sharp knives and snide barbs. And yet... people. Even PBS people! And...apparently also kidlit people. SMH.
Having said that, I currently still enjoy most of my social media outings. I do understand what you are saying, though, and I wonder if it relates in your case to the Austin Kleon thing about obscurity being a gift. I'm obscure. I can make bad puns on Twitter and it's like, I'm just a pre-published writer. And it's a good thing I don't mind it right now, because (for example) Twitter is literally the only place I can go to find out what agents suddenly opened themselves to submissions (in one recent agent's case...for only 24 hours!) So I need some of that professionally, and I also need to vent through my favorite creative form outside of picture books: ironic .gifs.
BUT you are The Author Julie Falatko. That sounds stuffy, and I don't mean it to, but I just mean...you are known. You do have more pressure, I know. But you also have a great agent (that you totally earned) and lots of editors who adore your writing (rightly...writely?...so) and you don't have to put up with that ish if you don't want to anymore! Maybe the gift of non-obscurity is that you can do what gives you peace now! Life is too short! And you don't have to decide really right now, right? You can try a week. And then let it roll into another week. And another week. And so on. Or, not! You can post, "I'm outtie...I've got writing to do, beyatches. See you in 2024, unless you wanna see me on SubStack (which you totally should)." No one who matters is going to judge any of path you choose, so it's just up to you. Which, for me, makes anything infinitely harder, but maybe not for others. 😂
It's so fuzzy for all of us, the wavy fine line between what we absorb just the right amount of and what we absorb too much of. Once you start soaking up what's around you, it's hard to stop--it just seeps into every pore, doesn't it?
This is all to say: I feel you. I really do. Thank you for sharing.
Oh, yes, that is a good point about obscurity (I don't think of you as obscure, but I get your point). The thing about an agent saying they're open for 24 hours -- that stresses me out! I get why they would do that, absolutely, but then you, as a writer, have to Always Be Online, just in case. I don't know what the solution to that is.
That thing about the comment on Ask This Old House is maddening but also HILARIOUS. Like you said, it's PBS! Come on! Let's join hands in a tote bag circle and not make the time to say something unhelpful online (that's what always gets me, is someone is like, "you know what? I'm going to say something" -- WHY?). And the FB thing for me -- mostly I was annoyed to be confronted by FB and all its soup. I didn't care about what they were saying about me. I'm not everyone's cup of tea!
I get all of that! And the PBS thing IS very funny (now). Some of those tote-toting people have socks full of batteries and shivs in those bags! 😂
And so far, my only solution for the "24 hour agent window" is just my go-to one for everything else: swearing. 😂 It doesn't really work...but, also, it kinda does?
Julie, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. Social media does not come naturally to me, but I feel drawn (obligated?) to it to connect with, and lift up, friends and other creators in the KidLit community. And I find that hard to do in a manageable way wrt brain and time commitment - the rabbit hole is real. Wanting to pay it forward, and sure, a little FOMO, keeps me going back. My platform of choice as a writer is twitter, but it's problematic (unrelated to any of my issues), and I'm trying to decide if this is the excuse / reason I use to step away.
I'm curious your thoughts on the idea of having an obligation, or even just an opportunity, to support others as a reason to remain in the social media mix.
Hi Angela! I totally get all of this. I think, first of all, that your brain and time commitments are the priority. The effect of Twitter on our brains is real, and pervasive, and negative. We should protect our creative brains. Secondly, there are so many ways to promote and pay it forward in this community outside of social media. A passionate in-person book recommendation to someone you know is perhaps even more effective than posting on social media, because who even knows where that recommendation goes, given the vagaries of the algorithms?
I think for sure there are ways to be on social media and be healthy, positive, and supportive. But I know that sometimes it affects me so negatively these days that it's not worth it. And I think it's worth taking these aspects you're finding beneficial -- wanting to pay it forward, support others, connect -- and figure out the non-social-media ways to make those things happen. Social media gives us this illusion of scale, like if we recommend a book on there, it'll reach 1000 people. But I don't think it does, really. We're adding to the noise. It's way more impactful to stick a book directly into the hands of one person you know will love it.
Thank you for this clarity. It occurs to me in this moment that if I spent half the time reading books, and reviewing the ones I like online, v. what I spend on social media, it would be a lot better investment professionally, creatively and psychologically. I'm seeing a new path for 2023!
YES. When I first made a concerted effort to not be on social media as much, I read maybe 5 full novels in a week. I suddenly had so much more time. I really like slowing down and not stepping into that frantic energy. And I didn't even think of that -- yes, you can review the books you want to boost! Let me tell you, from an author's perspective, that totally helps. And then those reviews stay on the page forever, so you don't have to worry about them getting lost in the feed.
I strongly support taking a social media hiatus. I did one a few years back and honestly don’t know why I haven’t done it again since. It was so needed and necessary for me--and good. I jus felt GOOD getting offline.
Does taking a break to you mean pausing SS too? You should do whatever feels right for you, but I’ve been enjoying your posts, so I’m just curious.
Oh, ha, NOPE to pausing Substack too, although that's a good question. I'll pause Substack if it keeps my from my fiction writing, but so far that's not happening. But also when I come on here I feel more like "YAYYYYYY! WHEEEEE!" rather than how I feel when I go on social media, which is a series of cusses and then burying my face in my hands.
That's how I feel on here too currently, which is how I used to feel about all social media. It makes me worried that I only feel this way because I'm new to SS... and also worried that it could change and go the way of other networks. But with it relying mostly on long form posts and discussion (and no algorithm!) I'm hopeful it remains a fun space.
I have thought about this too, that it's only fun right now because I'm new. It's not like I want to change platforms every few years, but I know I can, if it comes to that. It's like -- now we recognize the signs! And we'll get out of here much sooner if it starts to turn negative.
(Sigh) I discovered this a little too late.
A little over a year ago, someone I considered a friend sent me a message about me that was clearly intended for someone else, and suddenly I learned that at least two people in a group of friends I'd emotionally invested in, spent a lot of time with, and in some cases—including the case of the sender—helped professionally consult, were talking about me behind my back. Overnight, an industry that is consistently celebrated for being made up of "nice people" felt like high school, and I've been a little paranoid about investing in fellow bookmakers ever since. I realize that I'm generalizing and that not everyone who does what we do behaves this way, but a short time before the message I had a traumatic experience that affected my ability to trust people and give them the benefit of the doubt, so that exacerbated things.
I just want to say that I think this is quite lame, and I'm sorry you, a person who has been lovely and funny and great in the, albeit short, time that I've known you, had to deal with it.
Tom, that's a TERRIBLE story! I'm so sorry that happened to you! It does reinforce this instinct I've had lately, though, to really dig in to offline time, to seeing-each-other-in-person time. I'm so troubled by who the internet tells us to be, and how it can in some ways condone being nicey-nice to your face and then gossiping and trash talking behind your back. I will sigh along with you.
I know what you mean. There are plenty of moments I can think of when I wanted to delete my accounts to get rid of, or at least alleviate, both the pressure of keeping up and being exposed to the judgement of others, but then I fear I'll miss out on opportunities, work, etc. so I hesitate and eventually abandon the idea. It's exhausting just thinking about it. Looking forward to spending more time offline this year. Let me know if you're ever up for more seeing-each-other-in-person time, AKA a cup of coffee. :)
I feel like I'm still caffeinated from that coffee we got last summer. I don't know what I ordered but I swear it's still the strongest coffee I've ever had. But yes! Let's have coffee again soon!
More and more I'm not sure being on social media is worth anything. I predict we'll start to see a shift from that being the primary way opportunities arise. It's just all TOO MUCH right now, and not really a great way to get work or publicize ourselves.
Loved this so much! And could relate a lot. It's part of what brought me to Substack too (though it may be its own form of social media...). I was seeking the more in depth conversations and exchanges that was part of the early day of social media... But I agree that nothing beats in-person connections!
Yeah, it's interesting -- I'm finding that part of me that turned to social media for validation does keep clicking around Substack looking for the same thing. I'm glad to know this now, at the beginning of my Substack relationship, so I can be aware and catch myself if I'm refreshing to see if any new things have shown up.
I appreciate your honesty, Julie, and I'm really sorry about the FB bashing. I like social media in very small doses and keep my circles tight. If I don't have some connection to the person as a friend and/or writer, they don't make the cut. I rarely visit Twitter or Facebook. Social media is not good overall for anyone's mental health. I work with middle school kids, and I definitely see the negative effects.
I prefer trees and animals, actual beloved people, sunrise and sunset, and all the glorious real life in between. And I'm always happy when you show up in my inbox. Thank you for your words however they find me.
I love your second paragraph (and not only because of the nice things you say about me!). Because, yeah, I for sure prefer trees to strangers on social media.
Hello Maine neighbor! Your post is timely to me as I just deactivated my Twitter account after 15 years of being an active Twitter user. I'm not very active on Facebook or Instagram either and I don't do TikTok, Snapchat, Whatsapp or the rest. I completely get what you are saying about how social media can make you feel and how it might not be as rewarding as it once was. I watched your video and I get why you chose to not engage with the private Facebook group either.
I can't help but think that people are reevaluating their relationship with social media, especially in light of our collective COVID-19 experiences, political and social issues, etc.
More power to you!
HI NEIGHBOR! What were your reasons for deactivating your Twitter? How does it FEEL? I remember when I deactivated Facebook and it felt like a relief. I keep thinking about deleting my Twitter, but not quite getting to the point of doing it. Maybe soon. I also have been active on there for a long time, but have really pulled back on it the last year or two.
I also think there are a lot of people reevaluating their relationships with it. It HAS changed, for sure, so now it's a point where people can change with it, or go somewhere else.
Gosh, I have a lot of thoughts about deactivating Twitter after being there for 15 years, I think I'll need to write a separate post about that. It's like 80% grief, 20% relief but that could change. I think that the whole COVID-19 situation was yet another turning point for social media.
I hope you do write about it after you've processed it a bit! I'm super curious.
I did write about it after all: https://howaboutthis.substack.com/p/so-long-and-thanks-for-all-the-tweets
I saw that in my inbox! I'm so excited to read it when I have an uninterrupted moment (Monday).
One of the best things about my last trip abroad was that I didn't take my computer and I don't have either LinkedIn or Twitter on my phone. It was such a relief not to see brag posts, hustle porn posts, the whining, the brown-nosing, the oversharing of meaningless achievements. I still feel I kind of need LinkedIn for work, cause that's where my clients check me out, and I have found new clients there. However, I don't think the benefits outweigh the costs. Twitter at least makes me chuckle time to time.
Another thing I hate about social media is how conscious we are about algorithms. "Don't put a link into your post, the algo won't like it". "If your last post tanked, your next one won't get much traction either". "If you use more than 5 emojis, you'll get penalised". And that information (basically social media bro science) changes every day.
YES! I just...don't want my life ruled by social media bro science, at all, ever. And yes to the relief of not having all the oversharing and bragging and everything else in front of us in our day. I deleted my LinkedIn (doesn't do much in my field) and deactivated my Facebook, and still have Twitter and Instagram, but not on my phone, and I don't check them often. I used to love them! They made me laugh too! But now when I do find something that makes me laugh, I have to weed that thing out from all the angry ick.
I'm still thinking about all of this a lot, especially whether any possible value is worth staying on there. Increasingly, for me at least, I'm not so sure.
Julie, I just deactivated my Twitter account last night and this video from you is so affirming. I'm still elsewhere, but I am thinking hard about it. So tricky. I met my first literary agent on Twitter - it all seems so tangled up. But yes. Thank you for your clarity and your insight. Seeing you walk through a cemetery with your well dressed pup feels like fresh air <3
I met my first AND my second agents on Twitter! I think the fact that we're thinking about all this stuff is the important part (at least I hope so). It's when we're not thinking about it and suddenly look up and realize the morning we had set aside to write is gone to scrolling and we feel agitated that it's a problem.
It really feels like now is the time for it, no? Over the long run, I have gotten so much from social media, but it's gotten boring and mean and ugly and full of advertisers since the "heydays". I credit social media with getting to know your work, and so many other of my favorite writers and illustrators and other creative people. But it really feels like it's not about that anymore.
Austin Kleon posted a clip this week (https://austinkleon.com/2022/11/03/theyre-coming-for-every-second-of-your-life/) of Bo Burnham talking about how all the social media companies are after your every last second. Since they are beholden to shareholders, they are required to grow, and growing in social media just mean grabbing an every last moment of your attention, so they can sell advertising. It explains so much of how it feels to be on social media today. It's not FOR me any more, it's AFTER me.
I have gotten very quiet on my social media, but mostly by attrition, and not by decision. It might be a more satisfying approach to follow your lead and actively step away.
I just saw that Bo Burnham clip that Austin Kleon posted, earlier today, and it resonated so much for me. And it really was lovely to connect with other creative people (like you!). But it's not working anymore, and it's feeling like everything Bo Burnham talked about (way back in 2019) is coming true. It feels so fake and commodified.
First: I have to say, that FB thing sounds like my absolute worst nightmare. It's not the same, but I once was in an episode of PBS's Ask This Old House as a homeowner. I had family who wanted to see the clip, so I went to their FB page to get the link to send and the first comment I saw on the video was something like, "I don't know what it is, but there's something about that homeowner that really annoys me." (I can't remember the exact wording, and I don't want to go back and check.) Whatever it was, it wasn't even that bad (I mean, I annoy even my kids sometimes! So, it's not THAT big a deal), but I must have hovered on that line, mentally and physically, most of that day. I think I eventually just typed: 😐 and left it at that because I literally could not string together any words but I also needed to at least try to make that person see that, hey...I, a human person, read what you felt compelled to go to your computer and record for posterity about me after watching a few minutes of an Ask This Old House episode. You know? I mean, this was NOT America's Next Top Model, or some show you would expect the mean commentators to come out with sharp knives and snide barbs. And yet... people. Even PBS people! And...apparently also kidlit people. SMH.
Having said that, I currently still enjoy most of my social media outings. I do understand what you are saying, though, and I wonder if it relates in your case to the Austin Kleon thing about obscurity being a gift. I'm obscure. I can make bad puns on Twitter and it's like, I'm just a pre-published writer. And it's a good thing I don't mind it right now, because (for example) Twitter is literally the only place I can go to find out what agents suddenly opened themselves to submissions (in one recent agent's case...for only 24 hours!) So I need some of that professionally, and I also need to vent through my favorite creative form outside of picture books: ironic .gifs.
BUT you are The Author Julie Falatko. That sounds stuffy, and I don't mean it to, but I just mean...you are known. You do have more pressure, I know. But you also have a great agent (that you totally earned) and lots of editors who adore your writing (rightly...writely?...so) and you don't have to put up with that ish if you don't want to anymore! Maybe the gift of non-obscurity is that you can do what gives you peace now! Life is too short! And you don't have to decide really right now, right? You can try a week. And then let it roll into another week. And another week. And so on. Or, not! You can post, "I'm outtie...I've got writing to do, beyatches. See you in 2024, unless you wanna see me on SubStack (which you totally should)." No one who matters is going to judge any of path you choose, so it's just up to you. Which, for me, makes anything infinitely harder, but maybe not for others. 😂
It's so fuzzy for all of us, the wavy fine line between what we absorb just the right amount of and what we absorb too much of. Once you start soaking up what's around you, it's hard to stop--it just seeps into every pore, doesn't it?
This is all to say: I feel you. I really do. Thank you for sharing.
Oh, yes, that is a good point about obscurity (I don't think of you as obscure, but I get your point). The thing about an agent saying they're open for 24 hours -- that stresses me out! I get why they would do that, absolutely, but then you, as a writer, have to Always Be Online, just in case. I don't know what the solution to that is.
That thing about the comment on Ask This Old House is maddening but also HILARIOUS. Like you said, it's PBS! Come on! Let's join hands in a tote bag circle and not make the time to say something unhelpful online (that's what always gets me, is someone is like, "you know what? I'm going to say something" -- WHY?). And the FB thing for me -- mostly I was annoyed to be confronted by FB and all its soup. I didn't care about what they were saying about me. I'm not everyone's cup of tea!
I get all of that! And the PBS thing IS very funny (now). Some of those tote-toting people have socks full of batteries and shivs in those bags! 😂
And so far, my only solution for the "24 hour agent window" is just my go-to one for everything else: swearing. 😂 It doesn't really work...but, also, it kinda does?
LOL, joined substack to comment here.
Julie, thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. Social media does not come naturally to me, but I feel drawn (obligated?) to it to connect with, and lift up, friends and other creators in the KidLit community. And I find that hard to do in a manageable way wrt brain and time commitment - the rabbit hole is real. Wanting to pay it forward, and sure, a little FOMO, keeps me going back. My platform of choice as a writer is twitter, but it's problematic (unrelated to any of my issues), and I'm trying to decide if this is the excuse / reason I use to step away.
I'm curious your thoughts on the idea of having an obligation, or even just an opportunity, to support others as a reason to remain in the social media mix.
Hi Angela! I totally get all of this. I think, first of all, that your brain and time commitments are the priority. The effect of Twitter on our brains is real, and pervasive, and negative. We should protect our creative brains. Secondly, there are so many ways to promote and pay it forward in this community outside of social media. A passionate in-person book recommendation to someone you know is perhaps even more effective than posting on social media, because who even knows where that recommendation goes, given the vagaries of the algorithms?
I think for sure there are ways to be on social media and be healthy, positive, and supportive. But I know that sometimes it affects me so negatively these days that it's not worth it. And I think it's worth taking these aspects you're finding beneficial -- wanting to pay it forward, support others, connect -- and figure out the non-social-media ways to make those things happen. Social media gives us this illusion of scale, like if we recommend a book on there, it'll reach 1000 people. But I don't think it does, really. We're adding to the noise. It's way more impactful to stick a book directly into the hands of one person you know will love it.
Thank you for this clarity. It occurs to me in this moment that if I spent half the time reading books, and reviewing the ones I like online, v. what I spend on social media, it would be a lot better investment professionally, creatively and psychologically. I'm seeing a new path for 2023!
YES. When I first made a concerted effort to not be on social media as much, I read maybe 5 full novels in a week. I suddenly had so much more time. I really like slowing down and not stepping into that frantic energy. And I didn't even think of that -- yes, you can review the books you want to boost! Let me tell you, from an author's perspective, that totally helps. And then those reviews stay on the page forever, so you don't have to worry about them getting lost in the feed.
I strongly support taking a social media hiatus. I did one a few years back and honestly don’t know why I haven’t done it again since. It was so needed and necessary for me--and good. I jus felt GOOD getting offline.
Does taking a break to you mean pausing SS too? You should do whatever feels right for you, but I’ve been enjoying your posts, so I’m just curious.
Oh, ha, NOPE to pausing Substack too, although that's a good question. I'll pause Substack if it keeps my from my fiction writing, but so far that's not happening. But also when I come on here I feel more like "YAYYYYYY! WHEEEEE!" rather than how I feel when I go on social media, which is a series of cusses and then burying my face in my hands.
That's how I feel on here too currently, which is how I used to feel about all social media. It makes me worried that I only feel this way because I'm new to SS... and also worried that it could change and go the way of other networks. But with it relying mostly on long form posts and discussion (and no algorithm!) I'm hopeful it remains a fun space.
I have thought about this too, that it's only fun right now because I'm new. It's not like I want to change platforms every few years, but I know I can, if it comes to that. It's like -- now we recognize the signs! And we'll get out of here much sooner if it starts to turn negative.