I've really been feeling this! While I was traveling last week, I was struggling with sharing, or not. (Part of my problem is that I always take too many pictures...always have, even pre-internet. And in my own head, travel photography is part of my identity.) But since social media, I feel that PULL: that I'm <supposed> to be going through my pictures, editing, and finding the best ones to share. But...I mean, for all of us, it's work! I actually asked myself, do people expect this of me? It's this weird tug in my gut, like I'll be breaking some sacred code by not sharing. Then I am appalled at how we all got roped into this false sense of obligation. I'm happy to say, I restrained myself, aside for a few moments. Helpfully, I heard your voice in my head, and asked myself, "Is this really how I want to spend my time?" Then the answer was clear. And I had a great vacation! Love all the posts, Julie! Thank you SO MUCH!
Yay on your great vacation! Yeah the question of "what do people expect of me" is such a big one for me. And I've realized how much I look to other people for praise and attention and validation, and the internet is set up so well to deliver those things to me. So for me, it has become really important to NOT check, to NOT post, because it's such a dopamine hit when I do. And it has been a process, to break free from that, and realize I can do things without sharing, that it's ok.
Plus also when I think about it, that whole thing of people (strangers, often!) getting mad if you go somewhere and don't tell them. It's weird!
I was thinking about this a bit on vacation last week. Like, putting the phone/camera down and just walking around enjoying the moment. I fall too far into not getting photos of adventures, to be honest. Thank goodness for pets as cover for talking to ourselves, right? It really is helpful to mutter ideas aloud.
I do a photo book every year, and knowing that's going to happen does push me to take photos along the way. Because otherwise I probably wouldn't at all. I think a lot about E.B. Goodale saying in these comments last month that she does "secret" things, meaning she doesn't share them. Even if it's doing dishes. It's a secret. I love that.
Haha, the haircut ending is great. The selfish rebrand reminded me of an experience I had when teaching. I would approach my classroom preparations with a student mindset. I read first as a student and then would prep as a teacher. My trainer/mentor/whatever told me that I should always have the kids in mind when studying. That it was selfish to study for myself because what connects with me isn’t going to connect with them. I felt horrible and I thought about it for weeks...I tried it her way for a while. And the energy behind my lessons wasn’t there. If it is selfish to eat up the world with curiosity so you can package it in a way that energizes others...then I’d rather be selfish! 😊
Ohhh, this is so interesting, Rachel. Because it's a fine line. I'm sure when you were prepping as a teacher, it's not like you were doing it selfishly and pretending the students didn't exist. It's like -- I always have to write for myself first. If I do that, I think I end up writing something that is more relatable, that more people connect to. If I try to write for someone else, it's always terrible.
Yes! Exactly — I totally believe in intentionally connecting with readers but I always have to connect with myself before I can connect with others. In relationships and in stories. Also congrats on the haircut 😂
It's a good reminder--esp. for storytellers, as its our nature to WANT to share. But we also deserve things that are just for ourselves. Tales we tell ourselves.
Congrats on your story puzzle piece going into place! :)
I've really been feeling this! While I was traveling last week, I was struggling with sharing, or not. (Part of my problem is that I always take too many pictures...always have, even pre-internet. And in my own head, travel photography is part of my identity.) But since social media, I feel that PULL: that I'm <supposed> to be going through my pictures, editing, and finding the best ones to share. But...I mean, for all of us, it's work! I actually asked myself, do people expect this of me? It's this weird tug in my gut, like I'll be breaking some sacred code by not sharing. Then I am appalled at how we all got roped into this false sense of obligation. I'm happy to say, I restrained myself, aside for a few moments. Helpfully, I heard your voice in my head, and asked myself, "Is this really how I want to spend my time?" Then the answer was clear. And I had a great vacation! Love all the posts, Julie! Thank you SO MUCH!
Yay on your great vacation! Yeah the question of "what do people expect of me" is such a big one for me. And I've realized how much I look to other people for praise and attention and validation, and the internet is set up so well to deliver those things to me. So for me, it has become really important to NOT check, to NOT post, because it's such a dopamine hit when I do. And it has been a process, to break free from that, and realize I can do things without sharing, that it's ok.
Plus also when I think about it, that whole thing of people (strangers, often!) getting mad if you go somewhere and don't tell them. It's weird!
I was thinking about this a bit on vacation last week. Like, putting the phone/camera down and just walking around enjoying the moment. I fall too far into not getting photos of adventures, to be honest. Thank goodness for pets as cover for talking to ourselves, right? It really is helpful to mutter ideas aloud.
I do a photo book every year, and knowing that's going to happen does push me to take photos along the way. Because otherwise I probably wouldn't at all. I think a lot about E.B. Goodale saying in these comments last month that she does "secret" things, meaning she doesn't share them. Even if it's doing dishes. It's a secret. I love that.
Oh, I love renaming our offline tasks as 'secret'!
I know! Me too! It makes it a lot more fun to not share things.
Haha, the haircut ending is great. The selfish rebrand reminded me of an experience I had when teaching. I would approach my classroom preparations with a student mindset. I read first as a student and then would prep as a teacher. My trainer/mentor/whatever told me that I should always have the kids in mind when studying. That it was selfish to study for myself because what connects with me isn’t going to connect with them. I felt horrible and I thought about it for weeks...I tried it her way for a while. And the energy behind my lessons wasn’t there. If it is selfish to eat up the world with curiosity so you can package it in a way that energizes others...then I’d rather be selfish! 😊
Ohhh, this is so interesting, Rachel. Because it's a fine line. I'm sure when you were prepping as a teacher, it's not like you were doing it selfishly and pretending the students didn't exist. It's like -- I always have to write for myself first. If I do that, I think I end up writing something that is more relatable, that more people connect to. If I try to write for someone else, it's always terrible.
Yes! Exactly — I totally believe in intentionally connecting with readers but I always have to connect with myself before I can connect with others. In relationships and in stories. Also congrats on the haircut 😂
Also you'll be glad to know that I got a haircut.
It's a good reminder--esp. for storytellers, as its our nature to WANT to share. But we also deserve things that are just for ourselves. Tales we tell ourselves.
Congrats on your story puzzle piece going into place! :)
Yes! Such a huge part of the job is sharing! But am I REQUIRED to share? No. And certainly not share everything.