One of the reasons I follow you, Julie, is that you are who you are and live accordingly. I appreciate that honesty. It took me a long time to get back to my true self, the one I remember being in childhood, the one who follows her heart, the expectations of others be damned. I've never really been a follower of trends, but I did follow the path my parents wanted for me, not the one I wanted for myself, and spent years trying to make a bad marriage work because that's also how I was raised, but after my life blew apart big time, I remembered, oh yeah, you are a good person who has tried your whole life to live up to others expectations, and maybe, just maybe, you need to live the rest of your life living your own dreams. So, I have 15 days left in my school career, and four writing retreats planned for the rest of 2023. I'm late to my own party, but showing up, and I can't wait to find a new way of being. This probably won't include starting the day with warm lemon water.
Cathy! This all makes me so happy for you and grateful to you for being here and for sharing all of that. I am truly so excited to see where you go on this journey!
These may be strange pins to put on the wall and run yarn between, but every so often, I read this passage from the David Sedaris story, "You Can't Kill the Rooster":
"...My mother was, for the most part, delighted with my brother and regarded him with the bemused curiosity of a brood hen discovering she has hatched a completely different species. "I think it was very nice of Paul to give me this vase," she once said, arranging a bouquet of wildflowers into the skull-shaped bong my brother had left on the dining-room table. "It's nontraditional, but that's the Rooster's way. He's a free spirit, and we're lucky to have him."
And then I hope to fully become someday (in my own way) the most Elayne combo of the trio of Paul (aka The Rooster), David (who tells the story with just the right amount of distance and intimacy), and he and David's mother--essentially, a person who is free-spirited themselves and leaning hard on "bemused curiosity" in regards to others. Reacting with bemused curiosity at what comes "at me"—IRL or via social media—(assuming the person/personality sharing whatever isn't harming others) is pretty fulfilling for me, at least where I find myself now.
Anyways, that's a VERY roundabout way of agreeing with you. LOL! But I do. :)
Bemused curiosity is such a great way of approaching the world. And the other thing about that Rooster story is that everyone in it is being themselves, however offbeat those selves are. (David Sedaris's career is perhaps built on the authentic offbeats that are himself and his family.) There is so much joy (and bemused curiosity!) in being yourself, in figuring out who that is, especially now, when so much of the world is trying to tell us who we are.
Ah! That's so true! I esp. love your points about the joy of finding/being/sharing yourself AND granting yourself the understanding and interest that you would grant to others. Happy Sunday, Julie!
Exactly. With any sort of advice, I think it's all about the framing. "Here's what worked for me, in case you find it helpful" -- great. "Here's what you need to do." -- annoying. And the worst of all is "Here's why you're failing."
One of the reasons I follow you, Julie, is that you are who you are and live accordingly. I appreciate that honesty. It took me a long time to get back to my true self, the one I remember being in childhood, the one who follows her heart, the expectations of others be damned. I've never really been a follower of trends, but I did follow the path my parents wanted for me, not the one I wanted for myself, and spent years trying to make a bad marriage work because that's also how I was raised, but after my life blew apart big time, I remembered, oh yeah, you are a good person who has tried your whole life to live up to others expectations, and maybe, just maybe, you need to live the rest of your life living your own dreams. So, I have 15 days left in my school career, and four writing retreats planned for the rest of 2023. I'm late to my own party, but showing up, and I can't wait to find a new way of being. This probably won't include starting the day with warm lemon water.
Cathy! This all makes me so happy for you and grateful to you for being here and for sharing all of that. I am truly so excited to see where you go on this journey!
That was inspiring- thanks!!
These may be strange pins to put on the wall and run yarn between, but every so often, I read this passage from the David Sedaris story, "You Can't Kill the Rooster":
"...My mother was, for the most part, delighted with my brother and regarded him with the bemused curiosity of a brood hen discovering she has hatched a completely different species. "I think it was very nice of Paul to give me this vase," she once said, arranging a bouquet of wildflowers into the skull-shaped bong my brother had left on the dining-room table. "It's nontraditional, but that's the Rooster's way. He's a free spirit, and we're lucky to have him."
And then I hope to fully become someday (in my own way) the most Elayne combo of the trio of Paul (aka The Rooster), David (who tells the story with just the right amount of distance and intimacy), and he and David's mother--essentially, a person who is free-spirited themselves and leaning hard on "bemused curiosity" in regards to others. Reacting with bemused curiosity at what comes "at me"—IRL or via social media—(assuming the person/personality sharing whatever isn't harming others) is pretty fulfilling for me, at least where I find myself now.
Anyways, that's a VERY roundabout way of agreeing with you. LOL! But I do. :)
Bemused curiosity is such a great way of approaching the world. And the other thing about that Rooster story is that everyone in it is being themselves, however offbeat those selves are. (David Sedaris's career is perhaps built on the authentic offbeats that are himself and his family.) There is so much joy (and bemused curiosity!) in being yourself, in figuring out who that is, especially now, when so much of the world is trying to tell us who we are.
Ah! That's so true! I esp. love your points about the joy of finding/being/sharing yourself AND granting yourself the understanding and interest that you would grant to others. Happy Sunday, Julie!
Exactly. With any sort of advice, I think it's all about the framing. "Here's what worked for me, in case you find it helpful" -- great. "Here's what you need to do." -- annoying. And the worst of all is "Here's why you're failing."
Ha, yeah seriously about "here's why you're failing." That's handy for clickbait, but my worry is that people take that to heart.